i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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