I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
