i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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