First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
