A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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