i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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