Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
