I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
