i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
