its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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