How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
