lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
