I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Welp...herpes.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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