one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
