if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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