this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
