butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
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I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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