You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
