So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's blow job season.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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