They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
