you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
