I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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