WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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