I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
