i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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