i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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