If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
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Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
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Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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