Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
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Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Sext me about skeletons
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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