Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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