Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize