i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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