My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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