Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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