I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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