I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
