we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
