Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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