I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
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My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START