She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.