Are we in a gay sports bar?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
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Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?