Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
