WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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