Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Congratulations! We have a period
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