seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
did you just send me my own nude
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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