I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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