She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
