Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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