i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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