Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
