smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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