My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
