I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
