Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
