what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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