yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
