Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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