i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
