Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
