Please, let me fuck your mom
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He had one of those small greek statue penises
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
