And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
