So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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