You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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