I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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