I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
