sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
