College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
