when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize