I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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