May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
